Dating A Cancer Sign: Why You Should Stay Away

Dating A Cancer Sign: How the Sun, Moon and Planets reveal their needs, desires and affection

Key Points

• General Cancer Energy
• Cancer Rising Sign and First Impressions
• Sun in Cancer and Purpose
• Moon in Cancer and Emotional Nurturing
• Venus in Cancer Love Nature
• Dating a Cancer Female and Male Overview

I’ve never met a Cancer I didn’t like. I’ve also never been able to guess their Cancer sign–even with my X-ray Scorpio abilities. It’s that invisible wall in which they hide behind. They are skinned with an impassive nature to divert unwanted attention from detecting eyes that can penetrate beyond their exoskeleton–where soft tissues pulse warmth and compassion.

If you pay close attention, when approaching a Cancer, there is a discreet way they hold back and resist moving forward. Slowly inching away, in lateral steps—as if emulating the crab itself, naturally untrusting of anything or anyone foreign. Generally, naturally guarded, their subtle attentive eyes reveal that a timid slouch can turn into commanding shoulders at any given moment to defend and attack.

Think of them as covered from head-to-toe in armour and their stance in continual duelling position, intuitively sizing you up for potential threats. Unlike its sister water sign Scorpio, gaining their trust doesn’t take long. Once you do, you’ll instantly notice a stark difference from the cold, damp cellar of a greeting to the warmth embrace of a fireplace with a bearskin fur rug laid out for you —ok, in reality, you likely have to work your way up to such luxurious treatment.

As you step into the initially uninviting cavernous home, down the long halls of getting to know them, it will seem like a kingdom well guarded and only privy to a chosen few. If you are part of the lucky lot, it is like having a second mother or an amazing first one that welcomes you with treasures sparkling in compassion, nurturance, warmth and mothering. To help nourish and fortify you when necessary. Pleasures at your disposal which you’ll find strengthened and solidified with the years passing, ensuring you a place to call home (whatever that means between the two of you).

Cancers are the divine mothers. Once they care about you and have opened themselves up, you’ve been given the keys to their heart and hearth– usually for life. Their most powerful quality is their sensitivity, enabling them to expand love, even outside kin. You can become part of their home and rooted in foundation. You become part of their flesh and suckle on the sweet nectar that inherently runs through them.

Being the embodiment of home, they are wired to protect themselves from the outside world at all costs. Your adopted blood relation can also shake them out of stability, out of their core. Within its soft flesh, you can threaten to suck the lifeblood out of it and dry up the reservoir.

Shake them, and they will fall. Turn them upside down, and they may never get back on their feet.

Dating a Cancer Zodiac Sign and Why You Should Stay Away…

Being with a Cancer and its need for familial bond is connecting to their body and flesh. They need and expect to grow with you deeply. If you are looking for something else, stay away. Cut both losses if independence and individuality are at the top of your priority list. They can become attached and clingy with tendencies to smother and give you ample attention.

Warning: Do you like the waters tranquil in your relationships? Unless there is vital earth energy to ground them or airy influence to rationalize their moods, they are emotionally moody AF. If they do not get the emotional response needed, as a cardinal sign, they will push and snap at you until they get their way. If you are moody yourself, the lack of balance can heighten and provoke hypersensitivity.

Cancer energy requires lots of comfort, feeling at home and internal nurturing. If you are up for the task, retreating or running off to their dark caves should not be taken personally. They are a hypersensitive bunch with strong emotions that run deep and, for better or worse, attuned to your own. It’s their way to soften themselves up again. Just make sure there is enough emotional communication and understanding. Laying it bare is a way to avoid hoarding ill feelings that can eventually turn them permanently cold.

Dating a Cancer Rising and First Impressions

These are the Ascendents that wear emotions on their sleeve. They have no problems expressing what they are feeling and why. In fact, they will dangle it in front of you until you’re on the same page. They will want to lead and push their agenda, but unlike the dominance of fixed water Scorpio or the controlling opposite energy of Capricorn, the waters will tread in your direction. That means by holding space for them, the waters flow to give you what you need—especially true if you acknowledge a Cancer’s emotional tides. ***tip*** accompanied by good food and a warm setting will get you off on a good start.

Look out for snap judgements. Any unprocessed emotions, whether connected to you or not, will be vulnerable points and will show up in reactions and the lack of emotional nursing they often want to give. You should expect lots of cuddling from them, physically and emotionally. These warm, fuzzy types are fined tuned to their intuition. You will be granted entrance into their personal world with caution.

Sun in Cancer

The Sun in astrology is our life goals, feeding our ego, and the fuel(sign expression) drives our purpose. It is an outward expression of who we came here to be. This shines through in our encounters, no matter who and what they are. It’s our vital expression that informs our identity. Think of the Sun sign as the photosynthesis to everything in the chart.

When it comes to dating, the qualities expressed by their Sun are only necessary if you want to move forward with the person and get to know their main goals in life.

A Cancer Sun is all about finding emotional purpose, that is usually connected to family or whatever comforts them. Their personal world is the centre of life. They will want and are meant to grow in compassion, understanding family values,  strengthening and deepening that bond with those they share it with. As a cardinal sign, they are also entrepreneurs, a soul that wants to take the helm in whatever they pursue…that is including you.

Cancer Moon

The Good:

They are the divine mothers and intuitively know what you need. They will cry with you, ensuring that even the slightest wound gets a sweet kiss of love. They extend that affectation to your friends. Anyone that enters a Cancer Moon’s home will feel warmth. Return the warmth as they will need it to replenish. The home and family are their domain. Add food to that mix, and you will see satisfaction. Show them how much you care with emotional gestures, and you’re (warmly) covered for a while. Being with a Cancer Moon romantically can be compared to having your needs met on a maternal, rooted level.

The Bad:

At its lower vibration, their moods can set you adrift, other placements like the Ascendent can placate this energy, but if needs are met, you’ll know. They are vulnerable to the energy of the environment. Claws can be drawn out of reaction. A Cancer will express exactly what they are thinking. It is a potent moon placement, with high tides of emotions. You can take advantage of the turbulence to clear the waters.

To help calm the tides, feed and nurture them emotionally and physically. They, too, need mothering with all that mothering they do themselves. A home cook meal, food that warms them, and showing them you are willing to swim in their sometimes tepid, sometimes torrential waters shows that unconditional support is returned.

Cancer Venus

When dealing with a Venus Cancer, ask yourself, what does a Venus Cancer WANT? Getting in their good books also means asking yourself, how can I make them feel more beautiful? Think of the Goddess of Love and Desire as a creature of comfort. The ideal is the home, family and anyone or anything that gives a cozy feeling.

Their ideal day or night off is likely enjoying a favourite cuisine, then breakfast in bed the next morning. Remember, Cancer is a cardinal sign, which means they’ll be proactive. Anything that will make the weekend more comfortable.

Venus is strong in Cancer, and as a result of attending to their needs and desire, you’ll ironically find yourself getting a back or feet rub by the end of the weekend.

The Bad

Highly tuned in to your mood, they will cater and accommodate to your needs. This is a good thing for some people, but for others, it could get sMothering. Breathing room may turn into a concern. You are tied by an umbilical cord. You are part of their purpose, their home.

Outline needs from the jump. Attachment issues are things to look out for. This is especially vital if you’re a firey or airy Venus requiring more independence. The key is constantly communicating in sensitivity with a Cancer in Venus by stating your needs and boundaries–it helps with accountability.

One essential piece of advice is to avoid resolving a Cancer Venus issue by having solutions —that is all good and will definitely work at times, but what a Venus Cancer or any Venus in a water sign requires is to be given space to express what sometimes cannot be described in words but rather acknowledged by company and merely being present.

Dating a Cancer Man and Woman

Dating a Cancer man and woman is a different experience. In Astrology, we can look to planets for compatibility when looking for a companion. Aside from Mercury, an energy considered for its neutral gender qualities, each natal cosmic body represents feminine or masculine qualities.

For example, Venus can tell us about our feminine qualities. In a woman’s chart, it is her way of expressing her love nature and the definition of beauty. A man’s chart shows the type of woman he is attracted to, on top of his likes and dislikes.

Just as a planet is assigned a specific gender trait, so are the signs. The signs can therefore change the quality of a planet into a balance. Both Aries and Scorpio are ruled by warrior planet Mars and are mama bears under that helmet, able to defend her cubs, but Aries Venus will be more direct in aggression, whereas Scorpio Venus will be strategic and patient with her moves.

A General Overview

Mars in Cancer

Generally speaking, Mars is the aggressive male energy, the output. This indicates what he desires in a woman, what he finds sexy; it is the carnal part of himself, the part where his genitals are leading, so to speak. This is pure physical energy and is essential for a woman to know when looking for a mate. For a woman, Mars energy reveals what she is attracted to. It will show her level of aggression and if she wants to be pursued or be the pursuer.

Potent and willful, Mars in Cancer can be sweet caresses in bed. The gentle, considerate type that will accommodate you to comfort. They are loyal and trustworthy with energy to burn like a fierce gatekeeper, holding the fort down or the bedpost.

Jupiter in Cancer

Jupiter, in a personal chart, represents the qualities of a husband. Along with the 7th house, the markers are what one finds attractive in a female chart. For a male’s chart, it is part of his masculine aspects. The sign can tell you his outlook and how he commits; that is if he commits. Jupiter is exalted in Cancer. In other words, the combination of energy works well together and can give more benefits to the native. It is also a cardinal energy that will be strong in its beliefs, a desire to create strong bonds, something homely and deep in relationships. It will be vital for them to have close relations with their family of origin.

Venus in Cancer

This is the planet of relationships. Via the expression of the sign, we can infer what a person is attracted to. The beauty of a woman reflects her Venus sign. Venus in a man’s chart is the ideal beauty in his eyes. The Cancer in Venus is the warm, bouncy and accepting lover, with their personal life on top of the list.

Moon in Cancer

The Moon says much about the past, the nurturing we had, how we mother and how we want to be mothered. A Cancer Moon can get attached and smothering. Its qualities are similar to a Venus Moon. A Moon in Cancer will intuitively sense your needs. As long as their own needs are met, they will go a mile high to accommodate yours.

Sun In Cancer

The Sun is our goals, destiny and what fuels us. Back in the day and not too long ago, the Sun’s light was seen as the father’s influence. It was seen as masculine energy, the provider. For a woman, it represented what she ended up looking for in a partner. For a man, it represented who he would become.

The Houses

The Houses can get complicated. I am adding the 4th house and what to look out for in the relationship houses. This is based on their Moon, Sun or Rising in Cancer and whole houses. This is a general overview of what to expect. You will need a personal chart reading to get the specifics.

4th House and the Moon

The 4th House function tells us about one’s roots, the past, the dynamics of home life and the relationship with parents. In whole signs, the sign at the cusp is Libra. It can mean an innate fondness for beauty and a need for balance in the home, on a personal level. Any sign at the cusp of the 4th will express its flavour in the home. For Cancer energy, it is where they roost. Planets found in the 4th add to their personal expression.

The Moon in the 4th will show a homebody and someone who revels in their personal space. They will need a whole lot of alone time or family time. In a literal sense, their physical home is their haven, and they would be deeply connected to their emotional self, no matter what sign the Moon is in. Each planet sitting here will tell you the activities and dynamics of his/her personal life.

5th House of Romance and Fun

This is an important house when first dating your Cancer mate. It is a taste of how they date and the romance that flutters in them. By cusp, Cancer energy would have intense sister water sign Scorpio. Romance and dating are taken more seriously than others signs. They are looking for ‘the one,’ for potential, a deep connection that will last. The house’s functions become more concentrated if there are Scorpio planets involved. Mars in Scorpio will heighten her sexual appetite, and Uranus will color it a shade different from the rest of society.

If Libra planets are accentuated, the focus and quality of the house change. It may not be as heightened but the Cancer energy will still enforce its needs. The 5th house also indicates their level of fun and carefree spirit.

7th and 8th House—You’ve reached this point if you are thinking of committing to a Cancer

Both houses are commitment houses. Different from the usual fun-loving 5th House. Both function as the house of contracts and serious evaluations of relationships—accentuated with any planets involved. The signs will show expression. For Cancer energy, they will have Capricorn in their relationship 7th House. They look for qualities of long-term, building-type of relationships. A preference to go slow, Capricorn at the cusp will want to get to know someone before committing.  The process can speed up through intuition, if they’ve sensed you make the cut–having the potential to create a long-lasting family affair.

The 8th house — a serious and kinky house. I guess that could be looked at as a serious matter. An intimate house where we deeply connect on a visceral, bodily secretion type of commitment. If Aquarius or Capricorn is at the cusp, it is not a light matter for a Cancer. Both signs are in it for the long haul. One being more conventional than the other. Capricorns suss you out to ensure you’re the real deal, whereas detached Aquarius is looking for someone who will expand with them long term. A sense of growth beyond the norm.

Once you get to know this personal, intimate part of a Cancer, and if they have Aquarius energy here via any planet, you are in for kinky rides, out of this world type of romps in the bedsheets. A comfortable Cancer with these configurations will be up for anything.  Anything. Anything your mind can imagine.

Check out Dating a Cancer Woman and Dating a Cancer Man

Ig@astro.wild.child